Pretty Woman

What the fuck? The point of hiring a high-end prostitute, or any prostitute for that matter, is that they keep their fucking mouths shut. What a Goddamn amateur. If Americans can't trust their hookers, then we are truly in a sad state.

Oh, and don't fuck a hooker if your wife is sick blah blah blah.  

WEEEE!!!!

This is encouraging. We need to throw more crippled people off of bridges.

Trade Off

Stephen Hawking is a world-famous theoretical physicist. But I am better at kickball, so fuck him.

I'm Not Mad. I'm Disappointed.

Some mention of Snooki's engagement or pregnancy has been on the Google News homepage every day for the past week. Fuck you, America. Seriously. Fuck you.

International What?

March 8th is International Women's Day! Wanna know why you've never heard of it? Because no one fucking cares.

What a Face

Awww, poor disgusting fat slob says there's "no way out" from the trap his 600 lb body has him in. What? Too tired to commit suicide? God, fat people are so fucking lazy.

You Blew It

You fucked up dude. I'm happy for you because you're fucking an 18 year old and all, but there are much hotter 18 year olds in the world that would be worth destroying your marriage, family, and career for. That bitch with the big-ass face isn't one of them.

Fucking gingers, man.

The Most Offensive Blog on Tumblr

Hey Assholes,

If you haven't already, you should check out The Most Offensive Blog on Tumblr. They do some good work, and are much more fancy in their layout than yours truly. Funnier than a sack full of drowning babies.

Parker

2011

2012

2013