Nananananananananananananananana BATMAN!

You think that guy shot up that Colorado movie theater during the Dark Knight Rises midnight show because black people were talking during the movie?

Camping Without the Camp

The Boy Scouts of America recently reaffirmed their ban on homosexuals. That should be a huge relief to parents who want to have their sons raped on camping trips by good, honest, straight, Christian men instead of learning knot-tying and archery from those sinful queers.

Africa's Next Top Model

 

Thin is in. You look fantastic! Quit pouting, you little cunt.

RIP, You Sick Fuck

Sad news, Assholes. Dennis Flemion of the Frogs is dead. In his honor, we should all write a song about raping his dead, cold, bloated body, but saving the ejaculation for the face of the retarded 11 year-old girl we have chained up in our basement. He would have wanted it that way.

Therapy

When life hands you lemons, stab and kill a homeless. You'll feel so much better. And killing a homeless isn't killing a person because they're poor and homeless.

Get Down and Go For It!

You guys remember that episode of Saved By The Bell where Kelly, Lisa, and Jessie form the girl group Hot Fudge Sundaes?

I always wanted to rape Lisa.

Dead Baby Photography

I am now a dead baby photographer. Please spread the word. If your child is still-born, I'll show up at the hospital with a mid-grade digital camera and take hundreds of pictures for you to post to your Facebook account so you can creep the living shit out of your family, friends, and people from high school you barely talked to but have access to all of your weird Facebook shit. I have a make-up kit in case the little monster is starting to turn gray (I can't drop EVERYTHING just to take pictures of your dead baby, so it might be awhile before I get to it), a cowboy costume, a cowgirl costume, an astronaut costume (boy only!), and a bumblebee (unisex). Please don't contact me to take pictures of your baby if it's alive. I'm trying to carve out a niche here.