Siri-ously

I'm all for women's rights and whatnot, but these people need to fucking relax. It's not Siri's responsibility to tell you where to go to get your baby sucked out of you. You don't even need a clinic. You can:

1) Throw yourself down a set of stairs. (Don't be a pussy, make sure they're concrete or wooden. Babies are tougher than you think.)

2) Have a homeless person punch you in the stomach until your vagina bleeds.

3) Decide to have and raise the baby in a loving and supportive home.

4) Shake the baby until it dies.

You're welcome, ladies.